We stayed together for a long while. God, I wish we could have just stayed kids together forever. But alas, this is reality, and people grow. We grow and so do the expectations around us.
I couldn't even raise the courage to hold her hand, man. Anything physical, I was just so terrified it would go wrong or I would do it wrong or I'd be an idiot. Near the 3rd grade or so, I think that's when I started to notice couples around us had begun to get physically closer. Be it a slow dance at school stuff or even making out behind the bleachers, they were all things I'd convinced myself I couldn't do right. I thought at the time that my chair prevented me from being in that kind of relationship (and maybe I was right). Looking back now, I imagine Megan wanted me to take that next step in our relationship. And part of me really wanted to. I genuinely loved being around her. She was absolutely gorgeous and most importantly she made me feel wanted.
But I never did. I never took the initiative. We stayed together only in title for years while kids around us got serious. Our friendship eventually drifted apart as we got older and got more friends. After the accident, my father moved us out to a house in Waymart since a kid in a wheelchair obviously couldn't function in the cramped upstairs of a garage.
Fun fact about Megan and I. We're related through marriage. We always have been. We knew about it as kids, but adults always played it off as "silly". Maybe it was. Still, Megan is a cousin of my cousin. No blood relation, but the awareness of that connection loomed over us as we got older and realized the societal stigma behind a connection like that.
If it wasn't already obvious, chapter 1 doesn't have a good ending. I don't remember the grade, but I remember the kid. Enter Jason. My first experience with jealousy.
I couldn't even raise the courage to hold her hand, man. Anything physical, I was just so terrified it would go wrong or I would do it wrong or I'd be an idiot. Near the 3rd grade or so, I think that's when I started to notice couples around us had begun to get physically closer. Be it a slow dance at school stuff or even making out behind the bleachers, they were all things I'd convinced myself I couldn't do right. I thought at the time that my chair prevented me from being in that kind of relationship (and maybe I was right). Looking back now, I imagine Megan wanted me to take that next step in our relationship. And part of me really wanted to. I genuinely loved being around her. She was absolutely gorgeous and most importantly she made me feel wanted.
But I never did. I never took the initiative. We stayed together only in title for years while kids around us got serious. Our friendship eventually drifted apart as we got older and got more friends. After the accident, my father moved us out to a house in Waymart since a kid in a wheelchair obviously couldn't function in the cramped upstairs of a garage.
Fun fact about Megan and I. We're related through marriage. We always have been. We knew about it as kids, but adults always played it off as "silly". Maybe it was. Still, Megan is a cousin of my cousin. No blood relation, but the awareness of that connection loomed over us as we got older and realized the societal stigma behind a connection like that.
If it wasn't already obvious, chapter 1 doesn't have a good ending. I don't remember the grade, but I remember the kid. Enter Jason. My first experience with jealousy.
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